Now that I’m retired, I:

Now that I’m retired I can contemplate some of the more important things in life. Which is correct: the toilet paper should roll from the top or be pulled from the back? When are we going to change the way we set the table in the U.S. Forks are rarely used in the left hand, so place them on the right side of the setting.

Most people seem to call cones from Fir trees “Pine Cones” -- Hello?

With the exception of a few isolated locations, most of the world uses the metric system for measurements. I guess we are too stupid to figure out how it works, so we will continue to use a far more complicated system (pounds, ounces, quarts, cups, inches, miles, etc.).

It’s becoming nearly impossible to open a breakfast cereal containment system due to new glues for the cardboard and the synthetic bag within that has been welded shut. I would like to suggest to the cereal manufactures that some new opening instructions be printed on the outside of the box. Example: Place the blade of a large flat-blade screwdriver on the area between the top flaps of the box. Use a mallet to force the blade between the flaps and pry up. When the box is open you may attack the bag with tin snips or a heavy set of pruning shears. Always wear eye protection when performing these maneuvers.

Vigilante Hackers

Vigilante Hackers

I like to think that there are Good-Guy Vigilante Hackers in the internet community. They understand how those who hack into web sites, personal computers, and company or governmental intranet communities could destroy the whole system. Actually the internet system is already compromised in that its expansion is hampered and the expense associated with using it is partially associated with the justified paranoia of malicious hackers. A Good Guy knows that policing agencies may lack the power or sophistication required to locate, stop, and prosecute the bad guy hackers. So the Good Guy hacks the bad guys and brings down their machines or turns the bad guys in to policing agencies. I know that this is just a fantasy of mine, but since I thought of it, I know that there are other people that have had the same idea, and some of those people have the skills to be a Good Guy Vigilante Hacker. So, if you’re out there, doing your Super Hero thing and except for receiving personal satisfaction but no credit or compensation, I would like to say, “Thank You”.

Square Knots

Square Knots

Here I am, an old guy and I still have problems tying a square knot. I can actually tie one, but every time I have to carefully look and see which direction I should push the end of the string or rope through the second loop. You would think that after nearly 72 years and thousands of knots under my belt that I would be able to do one with out even thinking. Like most of us, I don’t even think about tying a bow on my tennis shoes. Maybe, and this sinister thought always lurking in the back of my mind, I’m just too dumb to get it. It’s not like I wasn’t taught. I was in cub scouts, boy scouts, explorer scouts, the US Coast Guard, and I even worked as a commercial fisherman. It’s not dementia, although I do have some of that. I guess I never really learned in the first place, so I didn’t forget how to do it. Who cares, you might say. Well, I care. First, it’s a matter of pride, and although after all of these years, nobody has ever noticed. But, what if somebody did look at my knot, and said, “That’s a Granny!” I would be mortified. I would never again be able to show my face in the knot tying world which includes: fisherman, sailors, surgeons, truck drivers, campers, Scouts, people who sew, almost anybody who’s anybody would scoff at me, point fingers, and snicker to their friends as they said, “He ties Grannies; what an idiot!”

Beginning 1

So this is the Internet. Wow, it seems big, -- covers the whole world. Does it echo in here?

Actually, in a way, I’ve heard that it does. If I yelled “hello” and I allow comments, I may get a

“hello” back. I’ll try it, HELLO!”

If I write something here, millions of people might read it. Then again, maybe nobody will. Obviously I’m new at this blogging stuff, and one way to educate myself is to just dive in and try it.